YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!

I am a very happy 25 year old girl. I have doting parents, a great job, wonderful friends and the world’s best fiancé but a nasty past. When I was in secondary school, I had this ‘friend’ I used to make out with. We were both in SS2 then and we continued until we finally graduated. Most people who went to girls’ only school would understand this better. 

Since they were no boys attaining puberty with us, we grew to be sexually attracted to each other. Of course some of us ‘did’ the male teachers then, but it wasn’t as exciting as having a crush on your fellow girl. I was a bloke then (behaved like a boy) but there was this girl who was also a bloke and in a supposed ‘relationship’ with another girl who liked me. She wrote love notes to me and I slowly fell for her. We started seeing secretly in hidden corners and classrooms. 

On one fateful night, I decided to pass the night in her room; nobody knew we were ‘seeing each other’ so to speak, so it was just normal. We gisted for a while then fell asleep soon after. Later in the night I felt her hand on my breast and then she was suddenly on top of me, pushing her tongue into my mouth and grabbing my breast as if her life was depended on it. To be honest, I’m not sure I enjoyed it but I let her continue and dragged her hand to my groin area. Well, that was the beginning of our ‘smooching’. 

After graduation I got admitted immediately into University of Ibadan. I met a guy I liked and we started dating but I noticed I was never turned on by his kiss or mild smooch. I WAS ATTRACTED TO GIRLS. I would stare at a girl’s boobs and behind and imagine doing dirty things to the girl. I preferred watching lesbian porn but I made sure I kept my ‘finger’ and thoughts to myself. I never made a pass at any girl.  After four years, I gave my life to Christ, rebuked the spirit of lesbianism and got really serious with my boyfriend. I finished school of course, went for service and got a job almost immediately (yeah I’m a lucky girl!).

 I was in the bank on the mainland making personal transactions one sunny afternoon when I heard someone scream my name.

I turned back only to see it was my high school crush. I wasn’t exactly happy to see her.  Memories of what we did rushed back and if I was white, my face would have been the color of tomatoes. I quickly feigned a smile; we exchanged pins and gossiped a little about our ex school mates. After a while, we said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch. We started pinging each other frequently in a very harmless way and became good friends on BBM.  One afternoon, I invited her over to my place to keep me company since my fiancée had travelled and my folks were not at home. She looked stunning as I opened the door for her to come in. I felt this unwelcome sensation tingle down my groin. I rebuked it immediately.

We ate, watched desperate housewives together, chatted and we even read your blog together too. Before we knew it, we were kissing each other passionately and we finally had sex. The lesbian way of course. We couldn’t look into each others eye when we were through and to say I was ashamed of myself is way too subtle to describe how I felt. Anyways, THAT WASN’T THE LAST TIME! We still do it and my fiancé doesn’t know about it. Should I tell him? I want to make it stop but I like it too much. HELP!